Joel's Stuff

Finding things you've left behind

Brings tears to eyes and thoughts to mind

Moving the couch and finding your snakes

I try to be brave, yet my heart still breaks

Cleaned out closets; blankets, tractors I see

All these treasures were once a need

Pulled open a drawer, found "undies" size three

Oh, how small you seemed to be

You don't need these earthly clothes

Your body now immortality beholds

I miss you today as I straightened and cleaned

But I'm still trusting God in what he has deemed

Not a breath goes by your not missed

Who knows if the Lord might send you a kiss!!

I love you "Balley"

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            I Love You Joel

I love you, Joel, your toes your feet

I love to whisper your name so sweet

I love your snuggles in the morniings as you wake

I l0ve your toast and eggs to make

I love to help you in jeans get dressed

I love to wipe your face a mess

I love to brush your hair to side

I love to watch your hands in pockets hide

I love to hold and read a book or two

I love to kneel and pray with you

I love to see "Siah" by your side

I love treasures received you two could find

I love your arms around my neck so tight

I love your kisses as I said "good-night"

I love the adventures and fun you thought

I love the flowers to me you brought

I love to see you play with toys

I love to hear your laughs with joy

I love to hold your hand on walks

I love to hear your silly talks

I love to see you do "monkey belly"

I love to fix you peanut jelly

I love to tell you "I Love You"

I love you to tell me too

I love you in this life awhile

I love you in death, as I await your smile

I love the blessing you are to me

I love the coming of Christ, for your smile to see!!!

I love you, Joel

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                   JOEL

              September 13, 2003-January 23, 2007

My little boy of 3 years, 4 months, and 10 days

Joel a twin a blessing in so many ways

Your big brown eyes, your pudgy cheeks

I miss you so, my heart just breaks

What fun and laughs and games you played

Dump trucks, tractors and sandcastles made

Brothers eight and sisters four

Our home so rich, not one bit poor

“Siah” your brother, your twin

Picnics and parties, your life from the begin

Sometimes crying and then giggles you brought

I loved the tiny voices that my ears often caught

Plans of playing inside and out

Kept us on our toes as your feet pattered about

Three summers, four winters you were here

Daddy’s little helper, with your heart full of cheer

Gardens and flowers were dug with your hands

Our dream, our desire for you to become a man

Your Father above, your Creator too

Has accomplished his will because he knew

Your days in our home have come and gone

Your memory is in our hearts will ever be so long

One day you will meet us at heavens gates

Our hands and our embraces you will take

Your journey so young bearing you to your Fathers throne

What a joy it will be as you welcome us home

My heart will be mended when I see your face

We will live together in that heavenly place

Sending our love to you today

We miss you, our Joel, see you soon....okay?

~From your Mommy

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           Little Boy In Time

The days are continuing on....

People are born, a little boy is gone

Time gives no thought

To the aching heart death has brought

Laughing, talking, on paths people go

Some sharing truth, sin others sow

O, please time, won't you stand still for me

But it goes on, my Joel will not come back and be

In days and years that go fleeting

A little boy they will not remember meeting

My heart wants all those here and there

Forget not a little boy, but time isn't fair

My little boy has lived his time in history

The Father's will, a mystery

They will not know my little boy lived and died

Except, a glimpse, for tears I can not hide

Maybe someday far away or near

The family in eternity will remember a little boy so dear

But now.... as I see the people in a mass

They remember not a little boy in my past

If I look in others eyes as I go

They too, have stories to be told

Goodbyes were said, and deaths they faced

But my little boy they cannot place

Comfort I must take, as others will never know

My Father knew of him, my little boy he holds!!

I Love You, Joel

           Joel’s Spring

The smell of spring is in the air

Memories of yester year I will not spare

Creaking, Cracking of the swing

Side by side soaring as with wing

One leg in the other two

Ready for farm work with dad to do

Dad’s a tilling, seeds in hand

To await bursting ground of fruit to span

Blue skies, sunsets and family fun

Homemade ice-cream by the ton

New shorts and shirts for heated days

Barefoot toes on red dirt clay

“Siah” your twin, your buddy close

Partners playing sunup to sunset almost

Now...little empty boots that held your feet

Folded shirt on the shelf so neat

Today...I’m going to walk to your grave

Thoughts in my heart of you to save

My heart hurts thinking your body so cold

Unto the resurrection, eyes of faith must hold

So many flowers were buried in your ground

Oh! I hope I’m there when the trumpet sounds

Looking forward daffodils to bloom

Will remind me of “life” yet soon

A seed must fall and cease to live

Then fruit it brings to others give

Enjoy your spring in heaven above

Just sending you a bouquet of Mommy’s love

          15 Months Ago....

15 months ago...

Seems like eternity, you know

15 months ago, I saw you take your last breath

I have to trust God knows best

That day, I held you close to my heart

Just like I did at birth, from the start

Your little body endured so much

So many lives your story has touched

I keep trying to see the sunshine in the rain

But my life, my heart will never be the same

As I look at "Siah" your twin

I see you by his side, memories from the begin

I like to ponder adventures you would make

Sometimes a silent smile, cause' I know Siah you would take

Words can not express how much I miss you

Bottles of tears are not a few

I will always have you in my heart

Until this world I also part

Then, in my arms you will be

With the Lord too, for all eternity

I miss you Joel!!

        Good King Josiah

My little good king Josiah so brave

Quite a journey you too have made

A twin, a brother, a friend to Joel

I know there will be an emptiness to hold

When in the womb, toes hands, being formed

Always at his side, awaiting to be born

Joel, first one out to lead the way

God knew the plans ahead, yours to stay

Infinite wisdom from the start

Mercy given, your here to help my heart

You were so brave, when Balley had to fight

The dreadful disease that seemed to come overnight

When your brother lay and could not walk

You sat by his side, played, laughed and talked

You shared your toys bringing smiles to his face

You prayed little prayers with your hands folded in place

You touched and kissed and said "I love you"

Faithful and brave, a brother so true

His mission, his work has been finished up

Then Jesus called "come home" he triumphed

Your hugs, your touch, I still feel him through you

He's still apart, though years were few

Be brave, be strong, there's plans for you too

Trusting Jesus, your Creator whom worship is due

May the Lord give you memories so sweet

As you think of your twin at Jesus feet

Be brave, be strong, onward you must go

Living for Jesus and plans he will bestow

Good King Josiah, forever a twin

By his mercy, eternity you'll spend

Once again together you'll be

With Joel and your whole family

Your so brave, "Siah"

I love you, from Mommy

            Mother and Child

Blessed times thirteen

What a privilege the Lord has deemed

Mother , child, a bond only she holds

Our lives intertwined, awaiting birth to unfold

Nine months of holding and feeling you move

Our lives intertwined, joys to be due

The first time to see your sweet little frame

Our lives intertwined, I'll never be the same

Your in my arms now, our story begins

Our lives intertwined, neither death can end

Getting bigger you are, now holding your hand

Our lives intertwined, your learning to stand

Memories are in my heart, your tears and your hurts

Our lives intertwined, my hand brushing way the dirt

Stories and games, all the fun we shared

Our lives intertwined, God's blessings not spared

Though your growing up, can't hold you like the start 

Our lives intertwined, I'll hold you forever in my heart

Places, hopes and desires are before us

Our lives intertwined, together we'll trust

Since together we began, always a part of me

Our lives intertwined, my child forever you'll be

The plans that God has, might lead us apart

Our lives intertwined, a love never to depart

Once again our lives will intertwine, as eternity we'll spend

Just like the start, Mother and Child again!!

To my wonderful children, its because of you that I can be a mother!!!!! (((((Loves))))

                                Two

Two little boys

Abounding joys

Two knit together in one secret place

Touching, nursing, a warm embrace

Two sweet smiles

Only one for awhile

Two dirty faces

Exploring farm places

Two little jeans, all worn out

Yes, there were even two little pouts

Two trucks and tractors to play

Laughter and cries throughout the day

Two little blankets, soft and blue

Your naps together would be few

Two in a bath, getting all clean

I wish I could awake and this be a dream

Two birthdays, balloons and treasures

Your family gathered, a love unmeasured

Two hugs and faces smothered with kisses

One hug, one kiss, the other my heart misses

Two boots and hats, cowboys you are

Days are numbered, eternity not far

Two little boys equals four feet

Two would be travilin', Jesus to meet

Two little boys the story is told

One in Jesus' lap he holds

Someday the addition will add up again

One plus one equals two, like the begin!!

I love you still!!!!

Dear Daddy,

I really do not remember, but mommy says you held me first, tight against your chest, while waiting for brother "Siah," your life to bless. You loved me from the very start, not knowing the Father's plan for us to part. What fun we had on our little farm, but best of all, I loved to snuggle in your arms. You taught me many things, even though I was small, you spoke to me of Jesus love and how he hears us when we call. At night you would tuck me in my bed, pray a prayer and blessing with your hands upon my head. I liked it when you would push me high, way up in my swing, I would raise my feet and into your chest they would fling. Remember the barn work and dirt I helped you haul, sometimes I would loose your tools cause I was just so small. Thank you for taking care of me daddy, when I got sick and couldn't walk. You would lay beside my bed, read books and we'd have our little talk. You fought and prayed and sought my life to save. Remember that night, while in the coma, my little foot did wave, I know it gave you hope that all would be alright, but I was really getting ready for my next day flight. Thank you daddy for your life you would have gave, it's a picture of what the Father accomplished and the victory over the grave. I have alot I would like to say, but I'll save it to tell you all about it one day. I know you miss me much and your tears your cheeks keep wet, but don't be sad for me, cause the Father I have met. Remember back at the start, how YOU welcomed me into our home, it won't be long til I'll get to take your hand and lead you to the throne!! I love you Daddy!

~Joel

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense

That all this is working for good

There is so much I 'm going to miss

Because the seen is not understood

I will not get to see you climb farm trees

Wear holes in your jeans, and get dirty knees

I will not get to see your first tooth come out

Or ride a bike with "Siah" no doubt

I will not get to see you do your school

Writing, math and using daddies tools

I will not get to watch you grow taller

Nor see your hand lead Mercy cause' she's smaller

I will not get to see you blow out candles, parties and cakes

Creating, building toys you would make

I will not get to hear your voice change as you become a young man

I will not get to see your shoulders broaden and hold your rough calloused hands

I will not get to hear you pray for strength from above

I will not get to see a bride whom you could love

I will not get to see your generations to come

A family, a heritage, victories won

I can hardly bear the hopes and dreams that will not be

O Lord, give me eyes of faith to look beyond what I can see!!

Will Not....